It's really later than I should be up, but there are a couple of things swimming in my head I wanted to get out.
The scriptures sure are wonderful. I haven't been great about getting up and reading them. 4-5 mornings a week instead of the 7 I should do. I blame sun not coming up until 7:30. Anyway. On days when I read with purpose I always find something to make me stop and think a little. Days when I don't read with a purpose (that is, on my phone in order to check it off my to-do list) I don't get much of anything. I'm learning that, for me anyway, I have to study the scriptures differently than I read other book. It has to be and event. I spend so much of my time reading thing, on the internet, leaning against the counter while the microwave boils water, whatever, that if I don't make it special, it doesn't register as something different. When I make it something special, then the Lord really is able to speak to me.
One of the things He has been telling me over and over for months and months is that I need to focus on my kids more. It is really hard. Partially because I have things to do. Partially because sometimes the games they play are just boring. But these are my heritage from the Lord and I need to treat them as the sacred trust they are.
So, I turned to technology.
I found an app called Forest. You set a timer and it plants a little graphic seedling. You now have to leave the app open until the timer runs out. If you take your phone away from that window before the timer is done, it kills the tree. Dumb psychology. But it works. I set a timer for 30 minutes with each of my kids. I don't think they know I do it. But then I play with with them. A few days ago I played cars and blocks and legos and puzzles and army men and clean up all in 30 minutes. Part of that time I was just handing my 2 year old blocks so he could stack them. And he loved having me there. I played dolls and colored with my 5 year old. And we had a lovely time. The really amazing part was that when it was time to be done and move on to my next project, they were ok with it. Their little love buckets had been filled and they were willing to play by themselves, or even together, without me for a while.
It's still hard. It will take a while to soften my heart to the point where I look forward to princesses (not everything is about being pretty, Sweetheart!) but it's at least pointing me in the right direction.
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Back in the Saddle
So, I took a month off from blogging. Not on purpose, I'm just a slacker like that.
I feel kind of stuck as far as these goals go. There are a few things that I can pick at, but not much that I can really dig my teeth into. That's really how life works. The planning stage can be so exciting because you get to look at the big picture and see how cool things will be with the project is done. But the actual building process is much less...fancy. Kind of like how at a ground breaking ceremony a bunch of people in situationally-inappropriate clothing dig up a little dirt from a pile that was already turned over by a back hoe. Sure it's nice to feel like you've officially started. But the workers are just wanting the pomp to be over so they can do the real work. And problems come up. Permits get delayed. Someone misunderstands directions. There's a storm in the Pacific Ocean that delays the steamer carrying that one brace that's on back order but HAS to be used to keep the roof up to code.
Such is my life right now.
I have done more looking into getting my teaching credential. It looks like the best way to do this is A) go back to school to get a second bachelor's degree in Music Education (my original major before the whole mission-marriage-babies thing), or B) find a private school that is willing to hire me with out a teaching credential. If I do that there are ways to get a credential once you have been hired in a position. Total Catch-22. But backwards.
The bachelors will be the cleanest way to do things. But the best school is a 2 hour commute a way, and I still have two young kids at home. Sure, it is do-able and we would find ways to make it work. But is it worth it?
I pretty much go in mental circles a couple of times a day trying to figure out the right thing to do.
I have been back to reading some books again, after a week or two of burn out. Couple of good ones, couple of not so great ones. Honestly nothing that I feel like I need to recommend to everyone.
I've been preparing for a half marathon next month. I'm actually really proud of myself. 13 year old me couldn't run 2 laps around the track on run-the-mile day in gym without needing to puke. Yesterday I ran 8.25, at a 10:15 mile. It actually might have been a little faster, because I did need to stop and wait for some cross signals. AND the wind was blowing in my face pretty hard through part of it. I tried to take some pictures of the the waves in the bay, but I taped over the openings in my phone so it wouldn't get rained on, so pictures were a no go.
On a side, those who recommended Body Glide THANK YOU. 8.25 miles in Washington not-sure-if-it's-really-going-to rain dampness and sweat and nary a chaff in sight.
Other life lesson from running I learned this week. I still don't like running on treadmills. Really don't. But when I run in the neighborhood, especially pushing a stroller, I settle into a very easy jogging pace. That pace has been steadily slowing down. This week my 2 year old asked to go to the gym instead of run in the stroller (he prefers to watch Daniel Tiger and play with toys rather than sit inert and chilly watching our streets go by). I gave in and set up a treadmill for myself. I was so bored I pushed myself faster than I have gone in ages just to get it over with sooner. I can't be sure, but I think that greatly contributed to a much faster pace on this week's 8 mile run than on last week's 7 mile run.
So, life lesson: the things you hate might be the ones you need to help you grow the fastest.
I was trying to find something new that I can work on this week. Still want to get in touch with UW to figure out exactly what I need to do to start school there. (I looked into a closer private school, but tuition was insane.)
As I looked through my original list I found it: my CPR training. I'm sure I can find one Saturday to take care of that, right?
OK. Here's what I'm looking at for the week:
I feel kind of stuck as far as these goals go. There are a few things that I can pick at, but not much that I can really dig my teeth into. That's really how life works. The planning stage can be so exciting because you get to look at the big picture and see how cool things will be with the project is done. But the actual building process is much less...fancy. Kind of like how at a ground breaking ceremony a bunch of people in situationally-inappropriate clothing dig up a little dirt from a pile that was already turned over by a back hoe. Sure it's nice to feel like you've officially started. But the workers are just wanting the pomp to be over so they can do the real work. And problems come up. Permits get delayed. Someone misunderstands directions. There's a storm in the Pacific Ocean that delays the steamer carrying that one brace that's on back order but HAS to be used to keep the roof up to code.
Such is my life right now.
I have done more looking into getting my teaching credential. It looks like the best way to do this is A) go back to school to get a second bachelor's degree in Music Education (my original major before the whole mission-marriage-babies thing), or B) find a private school that is willing to hire me with out a teaching credential. If I do that there are ways to get a credential once you have been hired in a position. Total Catch-22. But backwards.
The bachelors will be the cleanest way to do things. But the best school is a 2 hour commute a way, and I still have two young kids at home. Sure, it is do-able and we would find ways to make it work. But is it worth it?
I pretty much go in mental circles a couple of times a day trying to figure out the right thing to do.
I have been back to reading some books again, after a week or two of burn out. Couple of good ones, couple of not so great ones. Honestly nothing that I feel like I need to recommend to everyone.
I've been preparing for a half marathon next month. I'm actually really proud of myself. 13 year old me couldn't run 2 laps around the track on run-the-mile day in gym without needing to puke. Yesterday I ran 8.25, at a 10:15 mile. It actually might have been a little faster, because I did need to stop and wait for some cross signals. AND the wind was blowing in my face pretty hard through part of it. I tried to take some pictures of the the waves in the bay, but I taped over the openings in my phone so it wouldn't get rained on, so pictures were a no go.
On a side, those who recommended Body Glide THANK YOU. 8.25 miles in Washington not-sure-if-it's-really-going-to rain dampness and sweat and nary a chaff in sight.
Other life lesson from running I learned this week. I still don't like running on treadmills. Really don't. But when I run in the neighborhood, especially pushing a stroller, I settle into a very easy jogging pace. That pace has been steadily slowing down. This week my 2 year old asked to go to the gym instead of run in the stroller (he prefers to watch Daniel Tiger and play with toys rather than sit inert and chilly watching our streets go by). I gave in and set up a treadmill for myself. I was so bored I pushed myself faster than I have gone in ages just to get it over with sooner. I can't be sure, but I think that greatly contributed to a much faster pace on this week's 8 mile run than on last week's 7 mile run.
So, life lesson: the things you hate might be the ones you need to help you grow the fastest.
I was trying to find something new that I can work on this week. Still want to get in touch with UW to figure out exactly what I need to do to start school there. (I looked into a closer private school, but tuition was insane.)
As I looked through my original list I found it: my CPR training. I'm sure I can find one Saturday to take care of that, right?
OK. Here's what I'm looking at for the week:
- Call UW and discuss options/requirements
- Continue training for Half Marathon
- Sign up for CPR training.
- Finish books currently check out from the library. I have three right now. One paper, one ebook and one audio book. A good audio book makes runs easier.
Yee-Ha.
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