About the only thing I'm checking off my list week.

Soooo, I haven't wanted to be productive this week. This is the point in goal reaching where I usually decide I don't really care about this stuff after all.

Working is hard. Working toward things is hard. I don't want to do hard things right now. I want to be left alone to watch TV and eat junk food for a few days.  Not that that will make me feel more like being productive, but that's what I want.

Why is it that the things I used to do for relaxation have become have-tos instead of get-tos?  I read for relaxation most of the time. But trying to keep caught up with my reading goals has turned it into something I have to get done, not something that I'm doing because I want to. Running can be very cleansing and cathartic, but when I've set a goal to run so-many miles it becomes something I need to do, not something for me time. Flute playing is fun. But when I set a goal to do it a certain number of times I feel like a failure when I don't do it.

I need to give myself some more space.

Cut myself some slack.

Remember that I set these goals to keep me from wasting time and help me feel better.

I think I need to give myself more time with less input. Unplug, as it were. I like listening to podcasts when I run, and I like the podcasts I listen to. But maybe a run without headphones would be good for me. I also tend to put Netflix on while I clean. It gives me something more interesting to pay attention to than moping and wiping counters. I wonder if doing it without Netflix would let me get it done faster and have more time when I feel like I'm actually relaxing, instead of just putting off cleaning.

I guess I haven't really spent much time with myself lately. Has anyone noticed how much we seem to hate being alone with our thoughts now? As soon as we don't have active input from other sources, (people, situations, or media) we find ways to get input. We crave it. We hate being left alone to just think about things. When I was newly married I was put in the Young Women's organization at church (cause that's just where they put newly weds...). I mentioned how one time I was driving back to school in Rexburg, ID from my parent's house in Orem, UT. and I got a prompting to turn off the music. It was a strange thing. But I did it. FOUR HOURS I drove, just me and my thoughts. It was one of the most cleansing drives of my life. My young womens' jaws dropped.  I totally got why that was a foreign concept. But I think we need to do it more often. I think the Spirit might have a hard time speaking to us when we are constantly seeking out something else to listen to.

Conference is coming up next week. (Read about what that is here.)Because of family matters I didn't get to listen to any of last conference live and I kind of felt the loss. We had Stake Conference last week. It was good, but I was somewhat distracted and didn't get as much out of it as I might have. Today N had a nursery-prohibitive cold (nothing bad, just didn't want to spread it around the ward) so I stayed home from church with him. I think I'm feeling a little spiritually drained. I need to refill my lamp. I want to make sure I get something worth while out of Conference.  I want to feel lifted up and be given that wonderful desire to repent. I had a great companion on my mission, - many of them, actually - Hermana Gill, who would frequently leave training meetings with a smile on her face, and an excitement to go repent. She was a wonderful example of a humble servant.  Repentance is not a slap on the wrist for misbehavior but and loving opportunity to improve and progress.  I need some loving reminders to repent.

Hermana Gill would also frequently quote that it is better to be reminded than to be taught.  I love how in General Conference there is very little, if any, new doctrine put forth. Instead the speakers are inspired to teach us things we probably know, but need to be reminded of. And they do it in such a way that we feel the Love of the Savior and a desire to do what's right. I think it was the people of King Benjamin (in the Book of Mormon) that said, after they heard his words, that they had no more desire to sin, but to do good continually. That's the kind of feeling we get, for however brief a time, after General Conference. We are reminded of the glorious Plan our Father in Heaven has for us. We see our potential more clearly and that gives us the strength we need to start working on it again.

Also, three new Apostles? Gotta watch that.

So, my brief recap of last weeks goals:

1. I did email teachers. We actually have an appointment tomorrow to clinic a middle school. That should be fun.
2. I finished Make It Stick. Everyone should read that book. Everyone should make their middle schoolers read that book. And again in high school. Seriously. I also started a nice, fluffy youth book for a brain cleanse.
3. Only practiced once. Uninterrupted time is hard to come by.
4. Did not contact any music departments. I'll work on that tomorrow
5. I ran 7 miles yesterday. I was proud of myself. I didn't even feel like I was going to die at the end. Here are couple of pics from the run. I live in a pretty place. 
   
   
   
   
6. I looked up Vit. D amounts. But a friend says we might be able to get them via rX, so I need to look into that. N is overdue for a check up anyway. And I need a flu shot.
7. Didn't sign up for the half marathon yet. It's something I want to have done, but the idea of training for one right now isn't super appealing. Anyone in Washington want to train with me? Or at least run the thing with me?

This weeks goals are much more brief.

1. Email about teaching credentials.
2. Prepare for Conference. Think about what I want to learn and try to be prepared to find out what the Lord wants me to learn. Be ready to repent and give up somethings if need be.

That's it. I'm going to continue to exercise, for me. Practice when I can, for my joy. Read, because I want to. But I need to step back from all the half tos and need tos and shoulds. 

Not on Mobile!

Ha-ha! I'm not on mobile any more, so now you get a very long post about everything I've been working on.  Not that there's THAT much to discuss. But, I babble so you'll hear more than you want. Or, you could just skip ahead.

So, I've been thinking about this whole take an econ class idea, I think I may have rushed into it. I have a lot of irons in the fire right now, and I don't think I really want to have one more thing on my to-do list every day. I think this is one that really needs to be put on the back burner until I'm not working on so many things. As a mom, I sometimes end up in ruts where I feel like I'm not progressing on much. Like I'm in a holding pattern and not learning anything, just taking care of other people. I'm not in one of those right now. I feel like I have a lot of things to work on and I'm really enjoying those things.  I think that the extra classes might be something to hang onto until I need to get out of a rut. So, we'll put that away for a while.

I spent some time sending emails about teaching credential programs. I had great hopes because there are a bunch of programs designed to help people who already have a college degree get a teaching credential in about a year. But these programs work with programs where you know a bunch about the subject material, and just need to take a few education courses.  Music doesn't work that way. Teaching music is kind of a different beast. Even wanting to focus on elementary music, there are choral methods courses, additional conducting classes, practicum classes before you go to student teaching, elementary music methods, etc and the education courses you take from the education department.  So, what I was hoping to be able to do in one year will probably take two. And I probably won't be able to get a master's degree doing it, just a second bachelor's. But, again, we'll see.
The program at University of Washington is a three year program if you want to get the master's degree, and I just don't feel like I can commit to that. We only have three year order's here, so there's a good chance we could be transferred before I could finish. You can put in for special circumstances to stay an extra year, and we know people that have been in one place for 10 years, but I'm not willing to risk it. But the second bachelor's degree is still an option there. I don't like that idea as much because it is a 2 hour commute. It might not be too bad, because most of that would be on the ferry and the bus, so I could do school work during the commute, but it still means that any time I need to go on campus it's at least 4 hours of my day. One class? 5 hour day.  Lesson today (if I need to take them)? 5 hour day. That's a lot. But the other option is a smaller private school in Tacoma. It would cost more, but it would be a much shorter commute and the fact that it is a smaller school might mean that they would be more willing to work with me. It might still take me two years, but I may be able to start sooner and still get a master's degree in the end. I don't know what the master's degree would get me as far as employment is concerned, and it might even be a detriment, but I kind of feel like if I'm going to go back to school I would really like to have an advanced degree to show for it. (I find this this particularly interesting considering the fact that everyone in my family that has an advanced degree, aside from the MD's, have told me that it's a trap to get my money.)

I've sent my transcripts to the people at these schools who know what they are looking at and I hope to hear back from them this week about what we can do. I know there will be classes I have to re-take and/or test for, but I hope that's limited. If I end up needing to completely redo my bachelor's degree it's just not worth it.

Something I did this week that I hadn't mentioned wanting to was I was able to practice a little.  Practice time is really hard to come by. I end up practicing in short bursts in between times when short people need me to help the get something to eat, or drink or wipe. It's not the best, but I feel like at least it's something. I collected a pile of repertoire, and I'm working through it, remembering what I've learned in the past and what I need to spend a little time learning. It's kind of fun. I want to take some lessons, get a little guidance and what not, but first I need to teach some lessons.

• Which brings me to the first item I did not do from my goals for the week. I still have not contacted any of the local teachers.  Turns out I hate making phone calls to people I don't know unless I absolutely have to. So, I'm going to adjust that goal and send an email instead. If nothing else, it lets me write one email and then copy it out to a bunch of different teachers. (By the way, reporting my slacker-ness in public every week is making me very self conscious of what a flake I can be.)   

• I did send emails about a teaching certificate. See above.

• I got Make it Stick, about how we learn and how to learn more effectively. It is really good, but for some reason I'm moving through it really slowly. I'd complain that they didn't write it to read very easily, but as I read the book I think they did it on purpose.  One of the things they've mentioned is that information you have to fight to understand is better retained than information you understand readily. There's this myth of learning that makes us think we understand concepts when we understand all the words used to describe the concept, but it doesn't work like that. So, I'm going to take the fact that I'm moving through it more slowly to mean that I am understanding it more. I highly recommend the book by the way. I think it may be one that I purchase further down the road.  I haven't gotten to Rough Stone Rolling yet today, but that's next on my list after I finish this fine post.

• Still haven't been blitzing. J got home this week, but the bug that chased him while he was traveling caught up to him so I'm still kind of single-parenting it. (I hesitate to use that phrase because I know there is a big difference between having no other parent around and having one that is temporarily unavailable, but I'm not sure how to phrase it.) And J is helping, the kids like his bedtime stories better than mine so I get a little extra time, but I can't seem to deal with the whining that comes with calling them in from playtime to clean up the house. 

Also, we had our first mostly cloudy week this week and I think I kind of understand better what we're in for as far as Pacific Northwest Weather is concerned. With the clouds I just didn't want to do as much. I just wanted to be left alone to read or watch TV or take a nap. So, I need to figure out how much Vitamin D I need and pick up some supplements. I know we're going to need them later in the winter so we might as well get started on them now. (Don't worry, I'll be careful not to take too much.)

So, things I will be working on this week:

1. Write emails to local teachers. I will write the emails tomorrow.
2. Finish Make it Stick and read something light.
3. Practice three times, working on scales, etudes and repertoire
4. Contact music departments in Seattle and Tacoma. This one will wait until Thursday or Friday so that they have time to look at my transcripts before I start breathing down their necks.
5. At some point run 10 Kilometers.
6. Find out appropriate dosage of Vit D for each family member and purchase the pills

Oh one more thing. I found a half marathon I can run in December. I don't run on Sundays and it is really really hard to find races that are not on Sundays. But, there is one in Tacoma on a Saturday in December, so I think the timing will work out well. It give me enough time to train comfortably, with out being too far away. The one thing that I'm worried about is that one blog recommended that you not do a half marathon as your first race. This will be. But, like I said most races are on Sundays and that is my day off. I found a couple of 5k's between now and then on Saturdays, but they were a few hours drive away, and it just feels silly to drive for longer than I'll be running, just to get the experience. 

Runners, what do you think? Worth the experience to know what is going on? Or should I just not be afraid to ask questions the day of and look a little like an idiot?

So, no. 7 is register for aforementioned half marathon. It doesn't sound super appealing right now as I've discovered Blue Bunny Peanut Butter Panic ice cream, which is incredibly good, but the next morning I don't feel like I really want to get out of bed and run. So, maybe take a break from the delicious ice cream, then register for a half marathon. 

That's kind of a lot to do this week. :/

Another quick one

Again, I'm on mobile, so this will be super brief:

1. I did not contact any music teachers. My husband has the laptop and the file for our fliers, so it seemed silly to make contact when I would just have to put off actually going there. He gets back on Wednesday, so I should be able to go drop things off on Thursday or Friday.
2. I have been getting up at 6:00, but I really stink at going to bed before 11:00. Part of this enjoying the quiet after the kids go to bed. Part of it is reading before I go to sleep.  But most of it is that I don't like going to bed when my husband isn't home. Like, I just don't feel like going to bed. Sometimes not even tired. It's an odd thing, but from what I understand deployment insomnia is a fairly common thing for military spouses.  Thank heavens this isn't a real deployment, just a trip.  
3. I did pick and sign up for n Econ class. It's through a system called Coursera, which I've heard good things about. I think I might have been a little hasty in actually signing up for a class, just because of some other things that may be coming down the pipe, but I don't want to base plans on the unknown so... Yeah.
4. I finished both the Lightning Thief and Outliers.  The Lightning Thief was fine for what it was. Definitely a hit for its target audience.  Outliers was pretty good. There were somethings I think he didn't look at from all the possible angles, but it was still cool to thnk about things the way he presented them. I decided to finish up Harry Potter 4. I have a book waiting for me at the library called "Make it Stick" about how we learn and internalize learning. I'm excited to read it.
5. We didn't blitz at all.  The weather was soooo nice this week that I let the kids play outside right up until bath time. (Not that they were happy to come on when the time came.) But I don't think we have many nice weather, well lit evenings left so... We'll clean later.  The mess got annoying, but like I said, the kids needed to play. 

So, for the week coming

• Take fliers to local schools and get started looking for flute students.
• Send emails about getting  teaching certificate. There is a lot more to tell about what I've learned about this, but it' stood much to tell about in a mobile-typed post.
• Read Make It Stick and read a chapter in Rough Stone Rolling.
• Get started on the blitz and make more of an effort to clean up messes as they happen.

A slow week. But not every week has to be a big one for progress to be made. :)

Mobile update.

I'm mobile today so this will be brief:

1. Still didn't look at an Econ class.  I just put that in my to-dos for Wednesday.  I totally forgot about it, so this will keep that from happening again. 
2. I sent an email to Lisa, and she game me some good information about the program at UW.  It is a brutal commute, 2 hours each way (!). I thought it was 1 year, but it looks more like 2; the first year is classes with part time teaching and the 2nd year is full time student teaching.  That's a long time being away from my young kids for a lot of hours a day. But Washington's credential is accepted in more states than any other, so this would be the place to do it. *Sigh* I still need more information,  temporal and spiritual.  This is a very big and very difficult decision.  Also, a kind of expensive one, but that's something to worry about after a decision is made, not something to make the decision for me.  Still  I would be lying if I said I didn't look at costs.  Education is expensive, yo.  
3. I felt much better about running. I think the thing that made the biggest difference was actually how I ate at night.  I love ice cream. And Reese's Puffs. And Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  But eating that kind of junk at night makes me groggy in the morning.  So, I found other things to eat before bed and I felt better in the mornings. I still had to do my long run on a treadmill yesterday, but I felt better. I also watched West Side Story while I ran. Turns out Bernstein is kind of fun to run to.  Aaaaaand now you know what an incredibly big dork I am.
4. I did make time for my scriptures this week and it was really great.  I found some good stuff in the D&C that made me think about I how I approach the Gospel and General Conference.  I'd love to share more, but this keyboard is annoying so I'll do it later.
5. I finished Misquoting Jesus, which I enjoyed.  I started reading the Lightning Thief.  For what it is, it's pretty good, but I do kind of tire of the "misfit preteen discoving they have supernatural powers" thing.  But I like the Greek mythology angle.  Not sure if I'll read any more of the series though. 

So, for the week.

• Call/visit local schools to give them our lesson flyers.
• Continue reading scriptures in the mornings. Especially work on getting up at 6:00. If the kids are up before me than I have to wait until much later in the day. Part of this is going to bed on time.  I need a full 8 hours, which means 10:00 every night. And I like my quiet time after the kids are in bed. My husband is out of town too, and I have a really hard time going to bed when  he's not home.  
• Econ class. Pick one by Wednesday.
• Finish the Lightning Thief, start Outliers. Maybe some thing else too. Not sure yet.
• Do a 10 minute blitz with the kids every night at 7:15. Getting the house picked up makes for a more restful bedtime routine, and I have less to do after the kids are in bed. Also, it gives us something to do in the rough time between dinner and bath.