I made a baby this year, so now I need to look at what I'm going to do for 2017. I think mothering three kids is going to be a good place to start. But I need to do more than just mother. Don't get me wrong, I like mothering and I genuinely feel like it is the most important thing I can be doing right now. But if I'm being totallly honest, (which I am known for being, for better or for worse) I don't always find it to be wonderfully personally fulfilling. It's a long-haul project. Sure there are small victories here and there, but overall, there's a whole lot of boring going on.
Really, that's why I started this blog and my 40 by 40 goals. The daily grind can get hypnotizing and frustrating.
So that is something I need to work on. I need to find more joy in parenting. This summer I put together a schedule to help that. It was mostly to add some structure to very long summer days with out resorting to TV a lot, but it also helped me stay involved with my kids. (It actually turned out that we didn't need a much help filling our days. We live in a great neighborhood where the kids started playing at around 10:00 AM and didn't stop until 8 or 9 o'clock, with occasional meal breaks.) But my 3 year old is struggling with the new baby and not having Mommy's attention as much. And I was so tired in the beginning that when the baby did sleep I just needed a nap and some time to regroup. However, I have my first good sleeper, so I'm getting a decent night's sleep most of the time and I have some time in the afternoon that I can dedicate to projects. We will have an art project day (coloring, paints, playdoh etc); a cooking day for bread, cookies or whatever; a science project day where we can do vinegar and baking soda or magnets or something like that; playgroup is on Thursday mornings, so that can count; we had a hiking day over the summer, but I'm not sure what to include for that... board games? hide and seek? He's a big hide and seek kid. I also try to have him help me with whatever cleaning project I have for the day. I'm not really good at staying on schedule, but I find that having a cleaning schedule makes it more likely that things will happen eventually.
I also need some goals for my self. I'm going to try again to get CPR certified. I watched the schedule this year, but I had something else going on every weekend they offered the class. I also need to wait a couple more months, because it is a five or six hour class and I need to be able to leave my baby for that long before I sign up. But I really do want to get that taken care of. I feel like its one of those skills that you hope you never have to use, but really want have if you need it.
My scripture study goal this year was to spend more time pondering and really thinking about the scriptures as I read. When I read, I focused on doing this and it really increase the personal fulfillment I got out of my reading. The problem was that I was really, REALLY bad about regular scripture study. I only made it about 100 pages into the Book of Mormon this year. I barely read all summer.
This year for Christmas I decided to try and focus more on the Savior by reading the Gospels in the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We're only three weeks in, so I just started John today, but I have felt the difference, not only in how I feel about Christmas, but in my attitude about motherhood and even about the holiday to-do list. Those things didn't feel like chores as much as they usually do. Instead it has been something I've looked forward to and enjoyed getting done.
I'm hoping that regular scripture study, while seeking out the Savior in the scriptures will help me hold on to this feeling. I know it won't be a 24/7 thing. We all have bad days, get grouchy and lose it sometimes. But I hope that I can recapture some of the love of life that I've felt lately.
I also want/desperately NEED to get back to a fitness routine. I walked while I was pregnant, but I really want to go run. Yes, I WANT to go run. I still can't get over that that's me saying that. It would help if the weather would warm up a little. I'm thin blooded now and don't like running when it's in the 30's. I think I would like to run another half marathon this year. The only problem is now I know what it feel like to run one, so I know what I'm getting myself into. I really didn't like those last few miles. But maybe if I train better I won't hate myself as much.
I think a large part of it is that I miss the hours I had alone while I was running. It was really nice to just be with me and my audio book. I also really miss the internally clean feeling you get when you run yourself a little ragged and sweat a ton. Stretching after a run like that feel sooooo good. *sigh* I might have to hit the treadmill tomorrow. I hate the treadmill.
The other big 40 goal I want to accomplish this year: Learn to make a really good cheesecake. I plan on starting by making a cheesecake for my birthday cake. If I'm going to be practicing this one, I'm really going to have to start running. :)
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
I made a Baby!
I have to keep reminding myself of that the I start to feel down. I did build, and am still providing aaaalll of the supplies for continuing to build, a human being. That has blown my mind more than once over the last few months. It really hit me when I was planting and harvesting in my little garden this summer. Someone plants a seed. Into dirt! We add some water and some sunlight and through a rather complex process that little seed takes the water and dirt, takes all the pieces apart and rearranges them into a plant! And then that plant, in some sort of programmed effort to make more of itself, makes edible bits. From Dirt! Then we take those edible bits, made from re-arranged dirt-stuff, and we eat them. Our bodies deconstruct them again and use them to make pieces of us. For pregnant women it turns them into an entire organ (the placenta), and magic feeding tube, and an entire human being.
Then the baby gets pushed out, which is another miracle all together.
And NOW. Instead of turning that dirt-food into a new human body, it turns it into another food! A food designed for my mini human, which he is somehow instinctually able to extract from my body.
Dirt becomes Baby. We really are made from the dust of the earth.
...
...
...
I have a lot time to marvel with my every-45-minute eating baby.
The other thing I marvel at is how much we love these little lumps. When they are first born they literally offer us nothing but pain. Sore nether regions, lack of REM cycles, fluctuating hormones, and sore, occasionally bleeding nipples makes it seem like "love" would be the least likely emotion for us to feel for the cause of those problems. And they offer nothing for the first few weeks. They don't interact, they can't even really see us that well. And yet we love. We hold, comfort and smell them. We stare at them while they sleep. Marvelous.
Then the baby gets pushed out, which is another miracle all together.
And NOW. Instead of turning that dirt-food into a new human body, it turns it into another food! A food designed for my mini human, which he is somehow instinctually able to extract from my body.
Dirt becomes Baby. We really are made from the dust of the earth.
...
...
...
I have a lot time to marvel with my every-45-minute eating baby.
The other thing I marvel at is how much we love these little lumps. When they are first born they literally offer us nothing but pain. Sore nether regions, lack of REM cycles, fluctuating hormones, and sore, occasionally bleeding nipples makes it seem like "love" would be the least likely emotion for us to feel for the cause of those problems. And they offer nothing for the first few weeks. They don't interact, they can't even really see us that well. And yet we love. We hold, comfort and smell them. We stare at them while they sleep. Marvelous.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Supplementary recipes.
We had a really good Sunday dinner this week and I felt like sharing the recipes. Nothing too fancy, butternut squash soup and chicken salad sandwiches. But they were really good.
Chicken salad here I didn't have poultry seasoning, so I looked up what is in poultry seasoning and just threw in a couple dashes of each.
Butternut squash soup I didn't have marjoram so I used Thyme instead. Also, cut the cream cheese in half, otherwise you get cream cheese soup with squash.
I halved both the recipes because I don't want to deal with a lot of left overs right now.
Cheers.
Chicken salad here I didn't have poultry seasoning, so I looked up what is in poultry seasoning and just threw in a couple dashes of each.
Butternut squash soup I didn't have marjoram so I used Thyme instead. Also, cut the cream cheese in half, otherwise you get cream cheese soup with squash.
I halved both the recipes because I don't want to deal with a lot of left overs right now.
Cheers.
2 more Sundays!
That was my pleasant realization for today. I will, at maximum, only be pregnant for 2 (TWO) more Sundays. That kind of deadline makes this whole awkward, sore, can't sleep, can't sit/stand/lie down-for-too-long thing much more manageable.
It also makes goal setting harder, because everything has a contingency to it. Even something as simple as volunteering to remove price tags from some books my kid's teacher bought for the classroom feels like a risk. And because this is the great Pacific Northwest, and it is fall, it rains. About every day. Which also means I am trying desperately to keep a three-year-old entertained with out resorting to waaaaay too much TV every day. I am not designed for stay-at-home mom life and sometimes I really struggle staying engaged in 3 y.o. activities for as long as I need to be. We've been breaking the day into chunks, and that helps.
I do have a couple of things I worked on last week. I finished a church book I was reading called The God Who Weeps. It was good, if a little over written. By that I mean the authors spent a little more time discussing each point than they really needed too. They had a whole bunch of fantastic quotes, many (possibly most) from non-LDS sources, which was interesting. But at times it felt like the kept discussing a topic just because they wanted to share more of the quotes. However, I enjoyed how they explained many topics, and it was written for a non-LDS audience so the language didn't have the Mormon-wall of vocabulary. I'm looking for a new church book to read, and I'm thinking about a collection of talks by Henry B. Eyring. He's my husband's favorite. :)
Along that line, I've been thinking about opening up my church library to friends from the congregation. Not living in Utah, the only way to access LDS books is to order/buy them. And I don't have the budget to buy all the books I would like to read. I'm thinking that maybe I can start small loan circle so we can share the books we do have. -
Along that line, I've been thinking about opening up my church library to friends from the congregation. Not living in Utah, the only way to access LDS books is to order/buy them. And I don't have the budget to buy all the books I would like to read. I'm thinking that maybe I can start small loan circle so we can share the books we do have. -
I started reading a not-for-book-club novel this week, which I haven't done in a long time. (I love our book club books; it's been cool to read things I never would have touched other wise. But there are still some things I want to read.) I've had East of Eden sitting on our shelf for I don't know how long so I decided to go for it. I'm not very far in, but it's turning out to be just what I was looking for. My friend's Goodreads review said the story line was a bit lacking but the writing was fantastic. I'm not sure how this is possible, but I understand. Albeit, I'm only about 60 pages in, so I can't pass judgment on the story yet. And it is hard to explain WHY Steinbeck's writing is so good. He doesn't use a lot of flowery language, and it doesn't feel like he goes into unusual detail about situations, circumstances or emotions, and yet I feel like I understand the characters unusually well.
Speaking of unusual character development, I've been listening to Anna Karenina. There's a book with some characters. However, it often feels a little too long winded as he describes daily circumstances to help us get to know the characters. I don't think I would have the patience to actually read this, but I am enjoying listening to it. I have 8 or 9 hours of listening left (!) and I hope to finish it this week. Yes 8 or 9 hours left. There are 27 sections to the audio book, and each one is about 1:15. Grand total it will take me about 6 weeks of listening to get through. This is why I have to listen. If I actually had to stop what I was doing to read, (instead of listening while I go for walks, do dishes, mop floors, drive in the car etc,) it would take MONTHS.
So, my list of things to work on this week:
1) Spend time on N- focused (3 year old) activities. These include play-doh, toy cars, kitchen toys, finger painting and hide and seek.
2) Take the dog for a walk everyday when the rain lets up. She'll drive us all nuts otherwise.
3) Spend time on E-focused (6 year old) activities. For some reason she and I struggle lately.
4) Read 100 pages of East of Eden
5) Finish listening to Anna Karenina
6) Have bedtime prayers with my kids. We pray before meals, but I've been reminded lately that it's my job to teach them about a personal relationship with the Lord; not just as someone we talk to before we eat.
7) Have a baby. I don't know if I'll get to this one this week, but I sure hope so.
Cheers!
Speaking of unusual character development, I've been listening to Anna Karenina. There's a book with some characters. However, it often feels a little too long winded as he describes daily circumstances to help us get to know the characters. I don't think I would have the patience to actually read this, but I am enjoying listening to it. I have 8 or 9 hours of listening left (!) and I hope to finish it this week. Yes 8 or 9 hours left. There are 27 sections to the audio book, and each one is about 1:15. Grand total it will take me about 6 weeks of listening to get through. This is why I have to listen. If I actually had to stop what I was doing to read, (instead of listening while I go for walks, do dishes, mop floors, drive in the car etc,) it would take MONTHS.
So, my list of things to work on this week:
1) Spend time on N- focused (3 year old) activities. These include play-doh, toy cars, kitchen toys, finger painting and hide and seek.
2) Take the dog for a walk everyday when the rain lets up. She'll drive us all nuts otherwise.
3) Spend time on E-focused (6 year old) activities. For some reason she and I struggle lately.
4) Read 100 pages of East of Eden
5) Finish listening to Anna Karenina
6) Have bedtime prayers with my kids. We pray before meals, but I've been reminded lately that it's my job to teach them about a personal relationship with the Lord; not just as someone we talk to before we eat.
7) Have a baby. I don't know if I'll get to this one this week, but I sure hope so.
Cheers!
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Life Changes
Soooooo, how's 2016 for everyone?
Mine's turned out much differently than I expected.
My audition with UW went great. I got into the program! Wooo Hoo!
I also got pregnant, so the school thing got sidelined for a while. To be perfectly honest, it was not an easy thing to accept. This baby is a bit of a surprise, so it took a couple of weeks to mentally adjust to the change of plans. Part of the reason is that I felt SO sure about school. I was sitting in a Stake meeting at the beginning of February, feeling scared about it and unsure if I would be able to handle school and mommy duties and feeling guilty about leaving my son when his sister and I had so much time together. Then we started singing a hymn and the words hit me, and I was SURE everything would be ok:
Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid
I'll strengthen thee, bless thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.
There it was! I'd be upheld! My God has always helped before, of course He would help this time.
And then, there it was, a total curve ball.
*sigh*
But, I have been upheld. Things have been ok. The pregnancy has been uneventful, aside from my usual tiredness and sore spots. I will still go back to school someday, it will just be a little later than we had planned. It actually might work out a little better. The next duty station might have Music Education program closer than a 2 hr commute. And, since I know what I want to do, I can start looking into things as soon as I know where we are going. We might be able to get out of state tuition waived for being in the military. It might be cheaper than UW (which was actually the cheapest option around here.)
And thus we see, things will be ok.
However, my focus changed and many of my goals were sort of left behind. I did check a couple of things off the list though. I took a break from junk food over Lent. It wasn't fun. I know a lot of people talk about how good they feel and what not, but I just wanted a cookie. Apparently my sugar addiction is stronger than most people's. Also, I kind of blame the junk food break for me failing my 1hr glucose test. I hadn't had any sugar for a long time time by the time I did that test, so I wonder if my body was just confused about what to do with this stuff. They made me come back and do the 3 hr test, and I passed that with flying colors. Then they made me do ANOTHER 1 hr test later on.
I really don't like that stuff. But go with the red kind. The green is the worst.
Anyway, I get to check that off my list.
Also, our dog, Malia, is a good running buddy, at least the couple of times I got to go running with her. I think she'll be great once I get back into running post-partum. So, check that off the list.
I planted a garden! It was little, 4'X4' But I loved it. I over planted, so some things didn't do well, and I learned some things I'll do differently next year, but it was still great. I will never plant zucchini again though. For one thing, I didn't notice that they tasted any better than what I can get at the store. For another, the stupid plant takes over and puts out so much shade that it killed off half the garden. My potatoes we doing great until they couldn't get any sun. Then they died and I got 6 potatoes. It also smothered my green onions, and spinach seeds. The peppers didn't make it either. Poor peppers.
I also probably won't plant peas again. They were good, but I couldn't get enough of them at a time to really do anything with. The tomatoes though, holy cow. A lot depends on the weather with tomatoes. They don't ripen until they get a little stressed, with higher heat and a little less water. Western Washington doesn't really do long, dry, hot summers, so I was a little worried, but the plant is huge now and putting out almost more tomatoes than I can use. But it's nice to have a little something to share with the neighbors. They put up with a lot with our family, what with kids that scatter toys aaalllll over the neighborhood and a dog that gets out about once a day (she just needs to go explore the neighborhood, then she comes home. Punk.)
So, check on that one. And we'll do it again next year.
Also, I bought a spring form pan on a whim since it was on sale at Target. With that I am once step closer to learning to make a real cheese cake. Maybe for Christmas...
And now for an update of how my 2016 goals are doing (spoiler alert, not well)
1) Resistance training. Had I been on top of things this would have been great for my pregnant self, but I was soooo tired during my first trimester, on top of catching a nasty bug at the very beginning of pregnancy (didn't realize I was pregnant till about 7-8 weeks because I was too busy playing nurse as as said bug made the rounds in the family), and I just never really got back to the gym. Right now my exercise consists of walks with the dog and yoga when my back starts to get really sore. So, that goal is shelved.
2)Read all the fiction I own. I've only read one. It turns out there was a reason I haven't read most of those. But I'll keep the goal for next year. I think if I haven't read them all by December 2017 that can be a good indication that I just don't care about the books and we can get rid of them. So it's a win either way!
3)Have studio of 4-5 students. I do have one! A very enthusiastic 6th grader, and those are the best kind of students. I did visit the middle school this week and left behind some flyers, so we'll see if that turns into anything. I should get in touch with the other band directors in the area too. This middle school director is fantastic. Actually the whole music program at the school is being run really well. He said that between band, orchestra and choir fully one HALF of the student body is involved in music during the day. That's freaking amazing. It gave my husband and me warm fuzzies when we went and played for them (at the director's request). It was just so cool to go and hear and see kids at the beginning of their musical journeys. Gave us hope for the rising generation of music appreciation.
4) Learn 3 new pieces. Hah. Maybe 2018
5) Scripture study. This one took a long, hard hit too. I'm still in 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. But when I read, I have to say, it is good. It's great to slow down and think and write and ponder and cross reference. Many promptings, comfort and clarifications have come.
So, what should I focus on for the coming week?
General Conference is coming up again, so I'm excited for that. I have some books to read (Drive, The Boys in the Boat, if it ever becomes available, and a couple of others.) We're potty training my 3 year old, so that takes more time than I would like it to. Any suggestions on how to get a 3 year old to CARE that he has poop in his underwear? No? Ok then. I'm having to just let go a little and accept that we will change his clothes a couple of times a day and I will have to wash poop out of underwear. It makes me thankful for the utility sink in our laundry room. He is actually doing much better than I was afraid he would. He actually does better if I give him a day off in pull-ups every now and then and take the pressure off. I guess it can get a little intense when Mommy is asking you every 30 minutes to go potty. I can see how that could get old fast. And sometimes he even tells me that he needs to go. Yea! Count the little victories.
Well, that was long and rambly, but I felt like rambling. Have a good week all.
:)
Mine's turned out much differently than I expected.
My audition with UW went great. I got into the program! Wooo Hoo!
I also got pregnant, so the school thing got sidelined for a while. To be perfectly honest, it was not an easy thing to accept. This baby is a bit of a surprise, so it took a couple of weeks to mentally adjust to the change of plans. Part of the reason is that I felt SO sure about school. I was sitting in a Stake meeting at the beginning of February, feeling scared about it and unsure if I would be able to handle school and mommy duties and feeling guilty about leaving my son when his sister and I had so much time together. Then we started singing a hymn and the words hit me, and I was SURE everything would be ok:
Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid
I'll strengthen thee, bless thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.
There it was! I'd be upheld! My God has always helped before, of course He would help this time.
And then, there it was, a total curve ball.
*sigh*
But, I have been upheld. Things have been ok. The pregnancy has been uneventful, aside from my usual tiredness and sore spots. I will still go back to school someday, it will just be a little later than we had planned. It actually might work out a little better. The next duty station might have Music Education program closer than a 2 hr commute. And, since I know what I want to do, I can start looking into things as soon as I know where we are going. We might be able to get out of state tuition waived for being in the military. It might be cheaper than UW (which was actually the cheapest option around here.)
And thus we see, things will be ok.
However, my focus changed and many of my goals were sort of left behind. I did check a couple of things off the list though. I took a break from junk food over Lent. It wasn't fun. I know a lot of people talk about how good they feel and what not, but I just wanted a cookie. Apparently my sugar addiction is stronger than most people's. Also, I kind of blame the junk food break for me failing my 1hr glucose test. I hadn't had any sugar for a long time time by the time I did that test, so I wonder if my body was just confused about what to do with this stuff. They made me come back and do the 3 hr test, and I passed that with flying colors. Then they made me do ANOTHER 1 hr test later on.
I really don't like that stuff. But go with the red kind. The green is the worst.
Anyway, I get to check that off my list.
Also, our dog, Malia, is a good running buddy, at least the couple of times I got to go running with her. I think she'll be great once I get back into running post-partum. So, check that off the list.
I planted a garden! It was little, 4'X4' But I loved it. I over planted, so some things didn't do well, and I learned some things I'll do differently next year, but it was still great. I will never plant zucchini again though. For one thing, I didn't notice that they tasted any better than what I can get at the store. For another, the stupid plant takes over and puts out so much shade that it killed off half the garden. My potatoes we doing great until they couldn't get any sun. Then they died and I got 6 potatoes. It also smothered my green onions, and spinach seeds. The peppers didn't make it either. Poor peppers.
I also probably won't plant peas again. They were good, but I couldn't get enough of them at a time to really do anything with. The tomatoes though, holy cow. A lot depends on the weather with tomatoes. They don't ripen until they get a little stressed, with higher heat and a little less water. Western Washington doesn't really do long, dry, hot summers, so I was a little worried, but the plant is huge now and putting out almost more tomatoes than I can use. But it's nice to have a little something to share with the neighbors. They put up with a lot with our family, what with kids that scatter toys aaalllll over the neighborhood and a dog that gets out about once a day (she just needs to go explore the neighborhood, then she comes home. Punk.)
So, check on that one. And we'll do it again next year.
Also, I bought a spring form pan on a whim since it was on sale at Target. With that I am once step closer to learning to make a real cheese cake. Maybe for Christmas...
And now for an update of how my 2016 goals are doing (spoiler alert, not well)
1) Resistance training. Had I been on top of things this would have been great for my pregnant self, but I was soooo tired during my first trimester, on top of catching a nasty bug at the very beginning of pregnancy (didn't realize I was pregnant till about 7-8 weeks because I was too busy playing nurse as as said bug made the rounds in the family), and I just never really got back to the gym. Right now my exercise consists of walks with the dog and yoga when my back starts to get really sore. So, that goal is shelved.
2)Read all the fiction I own. I've only read one. It turns out there was a reason I haven't read most of those. But I'll keep the goal for next year. I think if I haven't read them all by December 2017 that can be a good indication that I just don't care about the books and we can get rid of them. So it's a win either way!
3)Have studio of 4-5 students. I do have one! A very enthusiastic 6th grader, and those are the best kind of students. I did visit the middle school this week and left behind some flyers, so we'll see if that turns into anything. I should get in touch with the other band directors in the area too. This middle school director is fantastic. Actually the whole music program at the school is being run really well. He said that between band, orchestra and choir fully one HALF of the student body is involved in music during the day. That's freaking amazing. It gave my husband and me warm fuzzies when we went and played for them (at the director's request). It was just so cool to go and hear and see kids at the beginning of their musical journeys. Gave us hope for the rising generation of music appreciation.
4) Learn 3 new pieces. Hah. Maybe 2018
5) Scripture study. This one took a long, hard hit too. I'm still in 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. But when I read, I have to say, it is good. It's great to slow down and think and write and ponder and cross reference. Many promptings, comfort and clarifications have come.
So, what should I focus on for the coming week?
General Conference is coming up again, so I'm excited for that. I have some books to read (Drive, The Boys in the Boat, if it ever becomes available, and a couple of others.) We're potty training my 3 year old, so that takes more time than I would like it to. Any suggestions on how to get a 3 year old to CARE that he has poop in his underwear? No? Ok then. I'm having to just let go a little and accept that we will change his clothes a couple of times a day and I will have to wash poop out of underwear. It makes me thankful for the utility sink in our laundry room. He is actually doing much better than I was afraid he would. He actually does better if I give him a day off in pull-ups every now and then and take the pressure off. I guess it can get a little intense when Mommy is asking you every 30 minutes to go potty. I can see how that could get old fast. And sometimes he even tells me that he needs to go. Yea! Count the little victories.
Well, that was long and rambly, but I felt like rambling. Have a good week all.
:)
Sunday, February 7, 2016
February Update
I decided that weekly updates might be a bit much. Not a whole lot happens from week to week, unless you want an update of what books I've been reading.
On the other hand, I was better about getting short term things done when I had to announce it to the web-public. Maybe I'll start doing that again...
For now, here's what I've done in the last month.
I looked at the last blog post and realized that I had a major change of direction. I decided to go for it with getting my teaching credential. It is going to be a really hard thing. 2 hour commute hard. Full time student and a mommy hard. Being in college again hard (at least I don't have to deal with stressful boy-drama any more. Mine or my roomie's ;) But, as I thought about doing it, and started to put some wheels in motion, I wasn't getting butterflies in my stomach. No more "I don't know if I can do this" knots. Just a feeling of yes, this will be hard, but it will be good, kind of calm. Prayers were leading to the same feeling. I don't usually make big decisions without some sort of nervousness, but I wasn't getting that with this decision. I'll take that as a sign from the Spirit saying it will be ok. So, I completed the applications, sent my transcripts and signed up for an audition as a Post-bacc Music Education student. I had my audition yesterday. It went really well. It wasn't perfect, but I think it was a good representation of my skills and my desires as a student and teacher. It was a four part audition: instrument performance, piano skills, sight singing and an interview. All of which went well. I had my husband coach me with my flute pieces and it was great to have someone listen who knew what they were listening to. He really is quite good at what he does. :D
Some people mentioned to me about my reading goal, so here's a little clarification: I don't intend to re-read all of the fiction I own. I intend to have read all of the fiction that I own, which means I will read everything I own but haven't gotten around to reading yet.
I actually haven't read anything from my own collection yet this year. Sad, huh?
I got started on the Lunar Chronicles and got sucked into those lovely potato chip books. Not much of substance, but enjoyable to read. I read Cinder over Christmas, then finished Scarlet (which I didn't like as much) Cress and Fairest this month. I'm waiting in line for Winter from the library. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
I did read other things too. I read the Martian, which was fantastic. More language than I would have like, but, while I don't like swearing, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Younger me would have thought there was a problem with that. 30 year old me isn't sure.
I also read a great book called Weakness is not Sin by an LDS author named Wendy Ulrich. Great look at the doctrine of trying and failing. A very similar book I listened to was Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. It pretty much said the same things, but she looks at it from a more secular, and research based, point of view. Pretty much, the research and the doctrine agree. We make mistakes and we have the best relationships with people who allow us to make mistakes and love us anyway. That's one of the great things about the Gospel. The Lord never says we shouldn't try something just because we might fail. And failing at trying to do good things is not sinning. Sinning is doing bad things on purpose. And even that can be fixed.
I started reading one called "Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?" I can't say that I agree with everything she's said, but it has been enlightening. Not finished yet, but I'd like to finish it this week. Nonfiction is usually a slower read so I don't know if I'll make it.
I did find some good weight training to do, and I can feel it when I do it, but I really miss running. It's been sooo wet lately though. We get some sun most afternoons, but the fog and rain in the morning make running really not fun for my 2 year old tag along. So, I've been at the gym. Actually the last few weeks I haven't been much of anywhere. 2 year old has had a runny nose for weeks and with my audition yesterday I spent most of my work out time last week practicing. I'd like to do more running though. Mentally, I feel more refreshed after a long run than after a tough weight lifting session. I know this isn't true for everyone, but it is for me. :) (Once again, younger me never, ever would have believe that.)
Here are some things that are coming up this week:
This week begins my break from junk food. The last couple of years I've started "fasts" for Lent. Mormons don't really do Lent, but its a convenient pre-specified amount of time. Actually it started with a friend. In her younger years she had lived in a very Catholic area of Ohio where people really did Lent. She learned that she told someone that she was trying to stay away from sweets they would try to talk her into having something. Leave it in front of her. Let her know how GOOD it was, etc. But, if she said she was avoiding sweets for Lent, they "would apologize and remove the temptation." So, she started giving up sweets every year "for Lent." So I started giving things up for Lent, as a way to slow some bad habits. One year I did Netflix (though I allowed it if my baby decided to do one of his "it's 3 am and I want to play" parties.) Last year I shut down my Facebook account and it was really good for me. I realized just how compulsive it becomes to check when ever you have your phone in your hand. Not good.
So, this year is a junk food fast. There are no hard rules as to what is "junk." Just, if I think it's a junk food I won't eat it. Granola bars are junk. Cookies, even if you make them with coconut oil/flour/sugar, are junk. Tortilla chips are probably junk. Pretzels will minimized but probably not avoided completely. I still get to put sugar on my oatmeal. No hard rules, these are just to keep me from mindlessly shoving stuff in my face.
I will, however, allow chocolate. Just chocolate, not snickers bars or chocolate ice cream or brownies because they have chocolate. Just chocolate, if I really feel the need to hide in the pantry and eat something.
I looked up when they offer CPR courses on base and the next one isn't until June (???). Last year they offered one every other month, so I wonder what's up with that. I'll keep my ears open for something else, but if nothing turns up by April or May I'll sign up for the one in June.
Oh! We bought a dog. She's a total sweet heart. Her papers said Lab/Blue Heeler mix, but I don't see any Blue Heeler in her. I looked up some stuff and I think she's part Vizsla. She's got brown in her undercoat, is super affectionate, and rarely barks.
Here's a vizsla
Here's a lab 
Blue heeler
Here's my dog. There is no blue heeler there.
She's very small, so there's probably something else in there. But she has a perma-puppy face!
So far, we love her. Well, the kids are still getting used to her, but they love her from a distance.
I'll update my scripture reading stuff in another post.
This week:
On the other hand, I was better about getting short term things done when I had to announce it to the web-public. Maybe I'll start doing that again...
For now, here's what I've done in the last month.
I looked at the last blog post and realized that I had a major change of direction. I decided to go for it with getting my teaching credential. It is going to be a really hard thing. 2 hour commute hard. Full time student and a mommy hard. Being in college again hard (at least I don't have to deal with stressful boy-drama any more. Mine or my roomie's ;) But, as I thought about doing it, and started to put some wheels in motion, I wasn't getting butterflies in my stomach. No more "I don't know if I can do this" knots. Just a feeling of yes, this will be hard, but it will be good, kind of calm. Prayers were leading to the same feeling. I don't usually make big decisions without some sort of nervousness, but I wasn't getting that with this decision. I'll take that as a sign from the Spirit saying it will be ok. So, I completed the applications, sent my transcripts and signed up for an audition as a Post-bacc Music Education student. I had my audition yesterday. It went really well. It wasn't perfect, but I think it was a good representation of my skills and my desires as a student and teacher. It was a four part audition: instrument performance, piano skills, sight singing and an interview. All of which went well. I had my husband coach me with my flute pieces and it was great to have someone listen who knew what they were listening to. He really is quite good at what he does. :D
Some people mentioned to me about my reading goal, so here's a little clarification: I don't intend to re-read all of the fiction I own. I intend to have read all of the fiction that I own, which means I will read everything I own but haven't gotten around to reading yet.
I actually haven't read anything from my own collection yet this year. Sad, huh?
I got started on the Lunar Chronicles and got sucked into those lovely potato chip books. Not much of substance, but enjoyable to read. I read Cinder over Christmas, then finished Scarlet (which I didn't like as much) Cress and Fairest this month. I'm waiting in line for Winter from the library. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
I did read other things too. I read the Martian, which was fantastic. More language than I would have like, but, while I don't like swearing, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Younger me would have thought there was a problem with that. 30 year old me isn't sure.
I also read a great book called Weakness is not Sin by an LDS author named Wendy Ulrich. Great look at the doctrine of trying and failing. A very similar book I listened to was Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. It pretty much said the same things, but she looks at it from a more secular, and research based, point of view. Pretty much, the research and the doctrine agree. We make mistakes and we have the best relationships with people who allow us to make mistakes and love us anyway. That's one of the great things about the Gospel. The Lord never says we shouldn't try something just because we might fail. And failing at trying to do good things is not sinning. Sinning is doing bad things on purpose. And even that can be fixed.
I started reading one called "Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?" I can't say that I agree with everything she's said, but it has been enlightening. Not finished yet, but I'd like to finish it this week. Nonfiction is usually a slower read so I don't know if I'll make it.
I did find some good weight training to do, and I can feel it when I do it, but I really miss running. It's been sooo wet lately though. We get some sun most afternoons, but the fog and rain in the morning make running really not fun for my 2 year old tag along. So, I've been at the gym. Actually the last few weeks I haven't been much of anywhere. 2 year old has had a runny nose for weeks and with my audition yesterday I spent most of my work out time last week practicing. I'd like to do more running though. Mentally, I feel more refreshed after a long run than after a tough weight lifting session. I know this isn't true for everyone, but it is for me. :) (Once again, younger me never, ever would have believe that.)
Here are some things that are coming up this week:
This week begins my break from junk food. The last couple of years I've started "fasts" for Lent. Mormons don't really do Lent, but its a convenient pre-specified amount of time. Actually it started with a friend. In her younger years she had lived in a very Catholic area of Ohio where people really did Lent. She learned that she told someone that she was trying to stay away from sweets they would try to talk her into having something. Leave it in front of her. Let her know how GOOD it was, etc. But, if she said she was avoiding sweets for Lent, they "would apologize and remove the temptation." So, she started giving up sweets every year "for Lent." So I started giving things up for Lent, as a way to slow some bad habits. One year I did Netflix (though I allowed it if my baby decided to do one of his "it's 3 am and I want to play" parties.) Last year I shut down my Facebook account and it was really good for me. I realized just how compulsive it becomes to check when ever you have your phone in your hand. Not good.
So, this year is a junk food fast. There are no hard rules as to what is "junk." Just, if I think it's a junk food I won't eat it. Granola bars are junk. Cookies, even if you make them with coconut oil/flour/sugar, are junk. Tortilla chips are probably junk. Pretzels will minimized but probably not avoided completely. I still get to put sugar on my oatmeal. No hard rules, these are just to keep me from mindlessly shoving stuff in my face.
I will, however, allow chocolate. Just chocolate, not snickers bars or chocolate ice cream or brownies because they have chocolate. Just chocolate, if I really feel the need to hide in the pantry and eat something.
I looked up when they offer CPR courses on base and the next one isn't until June (???). Last year they offered one every other month, so I wonder what's up with that. I'll keep my ears open for something else, but if nothing turns up by April or May I'll sign up for the one in June.
Oh! We bought a dog. She's a total sweet heart. Her papers said Lab/Blue Heeler mix, but I don't see any Blue Heeler in her. I looked up some stuff and I think she's part Vizsla. She's got brown in her undercoat, is super affectionate, and rarely barks.
Here's a vizsla
Here's a lab Blue heeler
Here's my dog. There is no blue heeler there.
She's very small, so there's probably something else in there. But she has a perma-puppy face!
So far, we love her. Well, the kids are still getting used to her, but they love her from a distance.
I'll update my scripture reading stuff in another post.
This week:
- Kennel train the doggie. She really doesn't like being crated.
- Finish currently-reading books and start one fiction book from my shelves.
- Run 2-3 X, weight train 2X, 1 day of Yoga
- 6 days of 6 am scripture study.
- Search and apply for financial aid for school.
Happy February everyone!
Sunday, January 3, 2016
New Year's Resolutions are not wussy
So, I have this prideful thing about me. I think it's pretty common, which is sort of ironic. I don't like to go along with what is popular or generally expected. I want to be different, and special, so, I've avoided being part of the crowd. I want to stand out, just a little. The interesting thing about this is that is has caused me to miss out one some pretty cool opportunities, just for the sake of being different. Which is dumb.
For my spiritual self I decided I needed to adjust my scripture reading. I thought about doing a year in Preach My Gospel, but decided now is not the time. I think right now I need to get to know the scriptures better. So, I want to spend some time reading slowly. Reading everything straight through the past few years has been cool, but I didn't get much of a chance to ponder things. I need more time to think and chew on doctrine. I took a class on scripture study in college and one of the points they made was the importance of looking for principles in the reading. It's easy to read the scriptures like a novel; beginning to end, nice story, maybe a good moral involved. But you get more out of it when you look for eternal principles and apply them to other parts of the scriptures.
Another thing that has helped, the few times that I've done it, has been meditation before studying the scriptures. 10 minutes or so helps to get my mind awake and ready to think about things. It helps me to practice focusing on just one thing at a time so that I can read with out remembering my to-do list for the day.
So, here we come to the summary part.
Drum roll X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Any way, for a long time I never really set New Year's resolutions. When I started to set some I fell in with the crowd and pretty much forgot about them by February. But last year I did better and this year I'm taking the opportunity to look back, and forward, and see what I can do.
The cool thing about setting goals is that at times like this you get to look back and say "Hey, I did something cool." Not in a prideful way, but in an honest appreciation of what you've accomplished.
I lost my goals from last year. I put them on some poster paper so I had to look at them everyday, but when we we moved I, understandably, threw it away.
I remember a couple. One was to read 50 books, including one good non-fiction book and one quality fiction book each month. Kinda blew that one out of the water, go me. (If you care, you can see what I read on my Goodreads page here.) I'm still trying to decide if I want to up the ante on that or leave it alone. I read a LOT last year, sometimes more than I wanted to to just to keep on track with the goal, and I'm not sure I want to do that again.
I also had a goal to make a particular sum of money. That fell flat on it's face. Part of this was due to my own lack of chutzpah, and part was due to our move date being changed so it threw off my plans. Most of it is due to my tiny gumption though. Which is something I want to improve this year.
There was the whole half marathon thing.
So, that's something.
I also I had goal to do a pull up. I've had said goal for about 7 years and have yet to get there.
I am still working on regular 6:00 scripture study, but I think I have improved drastically over the last year. I did finish the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants this year. Sure do love those.
So, what am I going to work on this year?
I've looked through my 40 by 40 list and picked a couple I think I can get done this year:
- Become CPR certified. I hope with the new year I'll be able to fit one of these classes in now.
- Take one month break from junk food. I plan to do this over Lent.
- Memorize the Living Christ. I meant to do this in December, but December is busy!
- Go camping with the kids. I think the Pacific Northwest is going to be ideal for this.
This year's goals are proving trickier.
I'm having a hard time with a physical goal for this year. I want to do some strength training, but I just don't know how to go about it at home/with kiddos. The gyms I have access to don't have child care available and don't have good weight equipment in the you-can-see-your-kids areas. I would also like to do some swimming, but that would require me getting up at like, 5:00, and I'm just not sure I'm up for that yet. I'm thinking about doing another half marathon, but I don't want to be cold again. That was not fun. Of course, hot doesn't sound so great either.
I have decided on a reading goal though. Are you ready for this? Book people will understand what I'm talking about: I will read all the fiction novels I own. My sister asked if this included any books that people buy for me during the year, and I said yes. So, if you want to make my goal harder, here's a list of options for making my goal more difficult. We counted what I have and it's 12 or 13 right now, most of them are heavier stuff I've never been in the mood for.
Which leads me to a 40 by 40 goal: to read every book I have chosen to own. The "chosen" part refers not to books that have been gifted to me, I still choose to own them, but to books my husband buys but I have no interest in reading.
I'm still reeaaaallly unsure about going back to school to get a teaching certificate. But I do feel like, at least right now, I can make time to seek out more students. So, by the end of the year I would like to have a small studio of 4-5 students that I teach regularly. If anyone has some ideas on seeking out flute students, I'm open to it.
I'd really like to get some more repertoire under my belt too. Any one have a favorite piece for flute?
I'd really like to get some more repertoire under my belt too. Any one have a favorite piece for flute?
For my spiritual self I decided I needed to adjust my scripture reading. I thought about doing a year in Preach My Gospel, but decided now is not the time. I think right now I need to get to know the scriptures better. So, I want to spend some time reading slowly. Reading everything straight through the past few years has been cool, but I didn't get much of a chance to ponder things. I need more time to think and chew on doctrine. I took a class on scripture study in college and one of the points they made was the importance of looking for principles in the reading. It's easy to read the scriptures like a novel; beginning to end, nice story, maybe a good moral involved. But you get more out of it when you look for eternal principles and apply them to other parts of the scriptures.
Another thing that has helped, the few times that I've done it, has been meditation before studying the scriptures. 10 minutes or so helps to get my mind awake and ready to think about things. It helps me to practice focusing on just one thing at a time so that I can read with out remembering my to-do list for the day.
So, here we come to the summary part.
Drum roll X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2016 Goals!
- Learn weight exercises that can be done at home, or find a way to spend time at a gym sans kids
- Read all the fiction books I own (E's excluded)
- Have a studio of 4-5 regular students.
- Learn 3 new pieces of music
- 20 minutes of scripture study each morning, searching for principles.
I'm sure I've forgotten something, but I'll update later.
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